As parents, we worry a lot about our child’s emotions and how he controls them. If they are not managed in a “healthy” way they will get the little one off track. Setting limits is good but not on feelings. Setting a limit on feelings might do even worse, making it harder to manage his emotions and also send him the message that expressing his emotions might be something shameful or scary and that it would be better to hide them.
So, how a kid should regulate his emotions? Here are a few ideas:
1. Make it easy to talk about emotions
Researchers say that children develop a better emotional intelligence when we talk about our own feelings, acknowledge theirs, and wonder aloud about those of other people. It is also important to teach your child the name of the emotion that he is feeling. That way he will find it easier to understand himself and to understand others.
2. Guide his behavior but resist the urge to punish. Consequences and punishments will not help your child with his emotions. In fact this might lead to more misbehaving. Why? Because this kind of actions will teach him to repress his emotions which will lead to a even fuller backpack. This is the reason that usually leads in fact to more misbehaving.
3. Model self-regulation. If you yell at your child, he will learn to yell too, if you are respectful to him you teach him to be the same. Basically, every time you stop yourself from acting when you are angry you teach your child self-regulation.
